Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
