Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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