I just made out with a guy for $7.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
