Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
