He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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