WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
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I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So squirting runs in the family.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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