Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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