ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
