no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
