A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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