i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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