hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
