I looked at my own cervix.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
