It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
