i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
