I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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