Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
