so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Randomize
