Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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