Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
