All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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