she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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