My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
