Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
