Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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