Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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