You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize