thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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