i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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