Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
