just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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