put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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