Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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