U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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