I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
