This beer is not sobering me up at all
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize