Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
