i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
