then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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