Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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