is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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