her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
