I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize