The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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