I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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