I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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