you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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