Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
