Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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