So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
