In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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