Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I am one with the molecules
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
