i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
