Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
