She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
