Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
