loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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