Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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