Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
