So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
