did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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