just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
